Monday, July 16, 2007

What I can't tell you

I wanted to tell you that when I came here, I was on a large ship full of strangers in the middle of the ocean. But over time I realized they were my family, and it had just taken me some time to recognize them.

And then the people I loved held a small ceremony, disowned me, set me on a raft and pushed me away, out to the empty sea, where the dark, hungry waters stretched beyond my comprehension. I wished I'd gone to heaven with the rest of them, and I wished they'd go to hell for leaving me.

I made a horrible mistake in thinking that you were my sister.

But I can't tell you that.

5 comments:

Jason H. said...

I'm a little worried by this post.

How much am I supposed to read into it?

Are you leaving Japan on an up note or a down note?

-JCH

PS - I know next year when I leave, the expected intense emotions I will be feeling won't be shared by the vast majority of staff and students. Despite staying 4 years, I'm just the next ALT to come and go.

Emily Watkins said...

On a diminished triad. But don't be worried.

PS - Yeah. But I didn't really think it would happen like this. And I didn't expect it to hurt so bad.

Dy said...

What I can't tell you.


I wanted to tell you
when I came here,
A ship large and empty with strangers, including me,
amidst an ocean.
Over time I recognized Family.

I wanted to tell you that when leaving the people of my love,
held a small ceremony,
disowned me,
set me on a raft,
pushed me away,
to a dark and empty sea, stretching beyond comprehension, beyond me,
Beyond Family.

And yet , the full moon reminds me of Japan…

I long to be in heaven with the rest,
I wished they'd go to hell, for I who was left.

I made a horrible mistake in thinking that you were my sister.

But I can't tell you that.

Emily Watkins said...

Thank you... mysterious blog post rewriter.

Dy said...

Thank You for allowing me to craft your words into poetic form.